ROLE MODEL aka...MOM

I overheard the two of them talking in the kitchen. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. I was trying to concentrate on the step in front of me and moving my feet in time. One foot up, one foot down. Repeat. I was sweating along with a video version of Cher and her trainer who were guiding me through another workout. The conversation that I overheard was between my 10-year-old son and his friend. “Why does your Mom workout all the time? She isn’t fat.” To which my son replied, “She doesn’t work out to be skinny, she works out to be healthy and strong.” I listened to the rest of the brief conversation with a smile on my face, proud to know I was doing something right. My son, now 21 years old, works out to be healthy and strong as well!

I didn’t always work out or eat healthily. My story is like that of many other women who have struggled with weight and body image issues. From the age of 15, I struggled with my weight and – like many other women – I boarded the yo-yo diet train, destination Nowheresville.
When at age 26 I became pregnant with my first son, things changed. I was no longer responsible only for myself but instead needed to focus on the life inside me. Thinking whatever I ate my child was eating too I started to focus on healthy eating to nourish my growing baby. And after the birth of my son I changed my way of thinking. Instead of just trying to lose weight I focused on staying healthy. I needed to incorporate exercise into my lifestyle. It needed to be something easy to do and something I could share with my son so I started a walking program. I coupled that with a balanced diet but I allowed myself to still eat the foods I enjoyed in moderation. Guess what? I no longer had trouble controlling my weight. I continued to exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle so when I became pregnant with my second child I had more energy and an easier pregnancy. Within a few short months of my second son’s birth I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I continued with my fitness program and incorporated more changes so that by the time I learned I was pregnant with what would be my third son I was able to continue my healthy lifestyle right up to his birth. My body was in better physical shape than before I had any children and I became so passionate about health and fitness that I made a career change, became a certified personal trainer and began my business, Frameworks Fitness.

Every parent is the first true role model in her child’s life. She has the option to be a positive influence or a negative influence and who would actively choose to be a negative influence on a person to whom you are the world? I firmly believe it is our responsibility as parents not to just preach to our kids about eating healthily and being active, but to live that lifestyle every day and show them by example. A healthy lifestyle starts with us! My children have not grown up in a home without pop, chips, snacks and fast food. My feeling is if you deny them these treats and make them taboo, then they will want them even more just for that reason. There is no fruit as sweet as forbidden fruit and that goes for children and adults alike. However, I taught my boys that these foods were to be treated as occasional indulgences or treats and they were not part of their every day diet. Food was never used as a reward for good behaviour in our household and my boys had to at least try something they thought they didn’t like. Broccoli, which my husband and I will eat steamed was a non-starter for my children like most kids. However, after several attempts “trees and cheese sauce” made the grade. Yes, there were many arguments and frustrating moments in the quest to have them eat healthy foods and my husband and I are old campaigners in the war against how their friends’ parents made way better lunches than we did. There is no doubt lunches were sometimes traded and even on occasion “lost” and high-fat, sugary treats consumed in their place. Food companies and fast food franchises spend millions of dollars on advertising convincing our children that high fat and processed foods are not only delicious but fun and nutritious. Sometimes they come with a prize or a much-sought-after toy. No wonder my sandwiches and fruit cups never tasted as good!

The solution though is balance. Following a healthy lifestyle 80% of the time is what worked for my family. I tried to instil in my kids – through words yes but by example too – that better choices for snacks existed, like pretzels rather than chips, and fresh fruit instead of cookies. My kids love my huge, chewy chocolate cookies but I only make them a few times a year so they are a true special occasion treat, at least for the 48 hours during which they can be had before they become extinct again for another 6 months.

As parents it’s also important to be active. It will be well nigh impossible to convince your son or daughter to turn off the television, computer or video game if that is your idea of activity. Go out for a walk as a family. Hey, take the dog he could likely use the exercise too! Go to the park and really play with your kids, don’t just sit on the bench and read. A 30 minute game of “it” or “tag” will get hearts racing and the added benefit? Darn it, its fun for us parents too. How often in our daily lives do we get to act like children? My boys were always encouraged to play sports. As a family we enjoyed sport most weekends: basketball in the winter months and baseball and soccer in the summer from ages 8 through 16. Travelling for tournaments was a wonderful way for our family to stay connected and close. Not all children enjoy team sports but as being active is the key, encourage creativity in your children. Our youngest son is not interested in team sports but he’s an amazing unicycle rider which builds his core strength and cardiovascular fitness. Not to mention, it’s a bit of an attention getter!

Let your children see that it is important to you to make time in your day to exercise; if you can include them so much the better. When I used to run my sons would happily ride their bike beside me. I used it as a time to get closer to my boys, learn what was going on in their lives, what their friends were like, their hopes, dreams and aspirations for the future. It was our time together and I cherished those runs and looked forward to them as did the boys. Now that my sons are older and have grown into young men to be very proud of, we still on occasion work out together in the weight room at our local YMCA. I have to grin when my son asks “Hey Mom can you spot me on the bench press?” He doesn’t think twice about asking his mom to work out with him, spot him and encourage him.

It makes me very proud that I’ve had a positive impact on my kid’s lives. There is no greater feeling as a mother than to know you’ve set your children on a path to other successes. And I know they will be setting my future grandchildren on the same path, the path to a happy, healthy and fulfilling life. What greater gift can a parent give and receive?